i was losing it

when I was at the all staff work meeting last Friday. It was all in Japanese for two hours and I got really uncomfortable and wanted to cry.

I tend to feel like that when I am very exhausted. So it wasn't anyone's fault, it was all me..

I knew it wasn't about the language too, because it is not the first time for me to be in a meeting like that. On the first day of work, other than I was being introduced in front of 70, 80 teachers that morning, I did about the same thing - I sat there trying to guess what was going on. It was a shorter one, but that Monday morning I was very excited and didn't feel dizzy at all.

Last Friday was my three-week mark. I was very exhausted and have been having too little sleep or food to be honest.

My first week of work has an easy schedule, I went around to meet teachers and tried to remember kids' name when they are being introduced to the new Risa Sensei (teacher). I fought with the wireless at school and in the apartment. My dell was not picking up any signals while my co-workers with light and pretty Fujitsu laptops were just cruising away on the internet anywhere at school.

I somehow found a hot spot near the window in my tatami bedroom. But because I sat there with a bad posture and blood circulation, and constantly being freaked out by the gecko outside my window... going on to the internet wasn't really a fun experience anymore.